


How To Survive The Hunger Games

by ReynaSeaFlame



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: And I am here to help, Comedy, Funny, Guide, If this actually happens at least you will be prepared, Sarcasm, Sort Of, Why Did I Write This?, Witty Comments, You are now a contestant in the Hunger Games, just for fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-08 13:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13459542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReynaSeaFlame/pseuds/ReynaSeaFlame
Summary: A go-to guide on how to survive the Hunger Games, where man slaughter is considered reality TV! This guide will give you pointers and advice on The Hunger Games. This includes everything from popularity to surviving the Arena. Sarcastic humor and witty comments lie ahead, so strap yourselves in for the ride of a lifetime!





	1. So You Want to Win The Hunger Games

Let's say that we all live in Panem, the place where people are separated into Districts, fashion is most likely inspired by Halloween costumes, and- let's not forget, the annual blood bath that rich people call reality TV!

Long story short, every year the Capital forces two children, a boy and a girl, between the ages of Twelve and Eighteen from each district into an arena to kill each other to show the people of Panem their power, just because the Districts tried to rebel against them.

Overkill, am I right?

Now that the crappy history lesson is over, (Brought to you by Your's Truly) let's say that you're from one of the poorer Districts, like Eleven or Twelve. You're somewhere in your teenage years, and you're the only source of income your family has. Not to mention that you're probably going through puberty or something. Oh, and we can't forget the fact that you're in the running to be in the Hunger Games. (Kudos to you for handling that kind of life with grace.)

It's that time of year again, and everyone in your age group is scared out of their minds. No one wants to hear their name get called by the escort. No one wants to have to face the arena, and be forced to kill.

As the day of the reaping draws closer, parents spend more time with their kids, less work gets done, and kids get more uptight and jittery as the feeling of fear twits and turns in their guts.

Soon everyone in your poor excuse of a home is lined up in front of a stage. The escort reaches into the ball and lo and behold either A.) Your name gets drawn, or B.) Someone who you love gets drawn, and being the hero you are volunteer for them.

Anyway, you and the other tribute are taken away without as much as a goodbye to your family to the esteemed Capital.

Now, after you've finished wallowing in doubt and self pity, you're probably asking yourself one, very important question;

How In The World Am I Supposed To Win This?


	2. Step One: Prepare At Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How to prepare at home!

Okay, now that the oh - so brilliant introduction is over, we can focus on the one thing you're probably reading this book for; winning the Hunger Games.

Now, let's rewind a couple of years before your innocence was tarnished and you were still a naive little kid who sees the good in everyone.

Instead of keeping the Hunger Games a secret from you and letting you live your happy-go lucky life, your parents should've had you training, and training hard.

Long Story Short, the Careers had the right idea, heck, those kids were training for the Hunger Games since birth.

Working in fields, hunting, running, knowing which plants are poisonous, and swimming are all skills that you can work on at home. (Depending on the District) Do anything you can do to train for the Games at home. Those skills are vital in surviving the Hunger Games.

In the Hunger Games, your biggest threat is the arena itself. Based on past Hunger Games, no arena is the same. From a frozen tundra to a scorching desert the Hunger Games features a wide variety of landscapes and climates. All of these arenas require basic survival skills.

Developing these skills early is the best way of increasing your odds in winning the Hunger Games. You can't just walk into the training area and become a plant master in three days.

Also, if you have theses skills you can hide out and live off the land while the other tributes kill each other! Great right?

Preparing at home is the best way to go if you become a tribute. You'd already have basic survival skills down so when you're at the Capital you can focus on other things, like fighting, or impressing the Game Makers.

But none of those things matter if you can remember one, very helpful, important thing;

DON'T VOLUNTEER IF YOUR NAME ISN'T CALLED!

Don't be a Katniss and "volunteer as tribute." If you don't volunteer it's guaranteed that you will survive.

But if you're intent on participating in the Games, or you love your family and volunteer anyway, you now need to ask yourself a very good question;

What Do I Do Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, this website won´t format my writing. Sorry in advance.


	3. The Capital: Part One - The Basics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The basics of preparing for the Games at the Capital.

Okay, now you're at the Capital, which is the place where you're basically preparing for your death. Inspiring, am I right? Anyway, the Capital has to be the most important part of the games. This is the place where you learn survival skills, (just in case you weren't paying attention to the last chapter), how to handle weapons, get your Game Maker score, make alliances, get sponsors, and just prepare for the games. Everything you do here makes a difference in the Hunger Games. This chapter is going to tell you how to make the best of your time in the Capital.

Most of you are probably thinking that the Hunger Games doesn't officially start until the cannon goes off. Right?

Wrong!

The Hunger Games starts as soon as you step out of that way too comfortable train and into the Capital.

From now on every little move you make will be scrutinized by the Game Makers and the people of the Capital. So be a good little tribute and don't stick out until it matters.

Alright, now that we've got that covered, it's time to get serious. In case you're not sure about what goes down in the Hunger Games (which is really hard to believe), you will be facing a number of threats.

Maybe you're really great with knives, or you're excellent with a sword, but none of that will matter if you don't have two things; food and water.

You're probably wondering why I'm telling you this important information in The Capital chapter, aren't you?

Well, this tidbit of information is extremely important to know, even in the early stages of the Games, such as this one.

Besides, most of the time while you're in the Arena, you'll just be foraging for food and water anyway, so...

If you want to avoid foraging, just follow the next piece of information; EAT, EAT, EAT!

The Capital has a ton of food, and a lot of it will be for you! It's better to go into the Arena with full and slightly chubby stomach than with an empty one.

Also, you should drink a lot of water. You need to stay hydrated, in and out of the arena.

Energy is an extremely important factor in the Hunger Games, and you will need a lot of it to survive.

There are three main ways to save your energy for the Arena; eating, drinking water, and sleeping.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot to tell you to sleep. It's pretty obvious that sleep is the main factor of becoming a functional human being, but some of you are very forgetful.

I'm going to tell you something right now; DON'T PREVENT YOURSELF FROM EATING, DRINKING, OR SLEEPING.

Don't claim that the food and water is poisoned just so you don't want to eat, and definitely don't spend the entire night on the roof with your lover. *cough* Katniss and Peeta *cough*

Let's be real here, I'm sure that you don't want to be that tribute that stumbles around like a zombie because they didn't eat, drink, or sleep.

There's one more thing that you should know; DON'T SOCIALIZE WITH THE OTHER TRIBUTES!

Seriously, a lot of things could happen if you talk to the other tributes, and, hint hint, most of them are bad.

You could form bonds with them, and, in the end, you wouldn't want to kill them. The tributes could become your worst enemies, and their only intentions could be to kill you. They could end up discovering all of your secrets, including your strengths and weaknesses.

Long story short, don't talk to the other tributes. Keep to yourself, and focus on training, getting sponsors, and preparing for the Arena.

Now that you've got the basics down, your probably wondering if there's anything else you can do to avoid certain death in the Arena.

The answer to that, my dear tribute, is Yes.


	4. The Capital: Part Two - Popularity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're going to need a lot more than prior experience and a full stomach to win the Games...

Okay, "Surviving The Hunger Games 101" is over. Now we're getting into the stuff that will actually help you survive the Arena, hopefully with the least amount of pain possible. (Yay!)

If there's one thing that every tribute needs in the Hunger Games, it's sponsors.

Let's be real here, no one can survive on strength and intelligence alone, especially not in the Hunger Games.

Sponsors are valuable in the Arena, especially if you desperately need something. They can give you pretty much anything, from a brand new sword, to medicine, to fresh food.

Of course there's a catch. The sponsors need money to pay for their gifts to you, and the only way they're going to use that money is if they think you can win. For all we know the people of the Capital are taking bets on who will win the Games, and, to be honest, they're only going to support the tributes that could win.

The only way to gain the support of the sponsors and the people of Panem is to become what they want you to be, which is either the toughest warrior, or the picture perfect tribute.

You need to get a high Game Maker score, or you could make yourself into a perfect little doll.

The Capital wants people that they can mold into perfect poster children to win. You need to be charismatic, charming, and above all, you need to act like you love the Capitol.

You must ace your interviews, and you must get the people on your side. This is the route to take if you don't think that you will get a high Game Maker score.

Do whatever it takes to get sponsors, even if it means using others to reach your goal. Use your resources, become someone else. Heck, you could even do a little rebelling, but just enough so that the Capital's interest in you is peaked.

While you're in the Hunger Games, you'll learn that you must be selfish. Loyalty won't get you anywhere, especially not when it's just you and your allies left.

Even when you're in the Arena, you should be doing things that will make the Capital squeal in joy. That could be anything from causing a huge spectacle, or kissing another tribute.

You must remember that, to the people of the Capital, the Hunger Games is basically reality TV. You want to be the perfect tribute that everyone's rooting for, not the prissy princess that everyone wants to die.

Just go by this code; If the Capital looses its interest in you, you're pretty much dead meat.

Take Peeta and Katniss for example. They were the Capital's "Star Crossed Lovers." Everyone wanted them to survive the Games, so they did. Why else do you think the Game Makers gave them such an "easy time?"

It's because the Capital wanted them to live. They want to know if their beloved "Star Crossed Lovers" would live happily ever after.

So here's what you do. You make a story for yourself, and it doesn't necessarily have to be true. You could say or do anything, as long as it makes the Capital want you to be alive.

Popularity is everything in the Hunger Games. You're not going to win by staying hidden until everyone else is dead. You have to get the people on your side, before it's too late.

Now that you have your homework for the night, you're probably freaking out. "I'm not interesting at all! I probably won't get any sponsors! What am I going to do?!"

Read on, my little tribute. Your answer lies ahead.


	5. The Capital: Part Three - Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguably the best and most efficient way to prepare for the Games.

Alright my little tributes, your stay at the Capital is almost through. Soon you'll find yourself standing on that metal platform, awaiting certain death! Don't you worry, you'll still have my valuable advice throughout this whole process!

Now we get to the chapter that everyone's been waiting for; The Training Chapter. This is where you'll learn how to fight like a pro in three days!

Ha Ha Ha, Just Kidding!

There's absolutely no way that you can become an expert in weaponry in three days. You have to have previous experience if you even want a chance of being able to wield one. *Cough* Step One *Cough*

If you have any common sense at all, you probably know that you shouldn't show anyone what your strengths are, unless you have a death wish or something.

Instead, you should be focusing on your weaknesses. Make yourself strong in every aspect. Fix your weaknesses and work on some of your strengths.

In case you haven't looked at Step One yet, you should also stop at the survival stations. The Capital likes a well rounded tribute. Also, if the Arena decides to flood in the middle of the night, you'll be able to scale a tree with you awesome climbing skills.

You should also have an idea of what you're going to do for your Game Maker performance. Plans are great, especially in the Hunger Games. All you procrastinators out there better get your acts together.

Let's be real here, you can't Katniss your way out of everything guys. Eventually the Game Makers will get tired of arrows constantly being shot into their food, so you're going to need a plan.

This is when you show the Game Makers what your strengths really are. Surprise them with your incredible knife skills or your ability to turn yourself into a living weapon. This is your time to shine, so don't screw this up.

The higher your score, the more sponsors you're going to get. Sure, you might have just put a target on your back, but while you're relaxing in your air conditioned wet suit and they're still foraging for food, whose laughing now?

By the way, if you happen to be before any other tributes, you could also sabotage their performances by dulling the blades or chewing at the ropes. *Hint* *Hint*

Training time is also a great time for sizing up the other tributes. Most of them will be flaunting their strengths and their huge muscles right in your face, so now is the time to figure out everyone's strengths and weaknesses.

Keep in mind that you only have three days to do this, so get to each station quickly, and don't spend too much time there. Don't observe the tributes for long periods of time, that would make them suspicious.

If you've made the best of your time here, you should be feeling pretty confident about your chances of survival right about now.

Soon that feeling will deteriorate into that horrible feeling of dread, because you've just realized that your going into the Arena tomorrow. You're probably asking yourself several questions, but one pops into your mind more than others;

How am I going to live through this?


	6. Let The Games Begin: The First Ten Minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for you to enter the Games. Now you must survive the first ten minutes, otherwise known as the Bloodbath.

Alright guys, it's time. You're about to go into the most dangerous game known to man; The Hunger Games.

Now we get serious. You're probably standing in that tiny lift room, waiting to step onto the metal plate and be lifted into the Arena.

Before you go, now is the time to say your goodbyes. Make them as quick and emotionless as you possibly can, you definitely don't want to be an emotional wreck when it actually matters.

Be sure to take care of your needs before you step onto the plate (bathroom, eating, etc.). Make sure that you have your item from home with you.

While you're being lifted into the Arena, you must clear your mind of everything except for one thought; I Will Win.

You'll find out pretty fast that once you're in the Arena, you must be completely selfish if you ever want to escape alive.

Once you're in the Arena, take a quick look at your surroundings. Form a small plan about where you're going to go after grabbing your supplies.

From there, the countdown will begin. During this period, scan the Cornucopia for your desired supplies. Look at the other tributes and determine what they might be looking for.

While you're scouting out supplies, keep in mind that the best way to go is to pick up supplies at the outskirts of the Cornucopia.

Unless you have a death wish or something, don't go anywhere near the Cornucopia! The Careers and other strong tributes will be there, and they will most likely kill you. Just pick up a supplies bag at the outskirts and a knife.

Or you don't have to listen to me, and you could just go for whatever the heck it was that you wanted. You could get out alive, but you have a 10% chance of that ever happening.

Once the cannon goes off, RUN. This is the time when the most blood will be shed. Be aware of your surroundings, but don't look anyone in the eye.

Pick up your supplies and your knife as quickly as you possibly can. Then sprint towards your desired location that you should have already picked out.

Don't look back. It doesn't matter what you see, what you hear, don't look back. You must not spare a second glance at the dead bodies. That causes weakness, and weakness is not something you want in the Hunger Games.

Don't stop running until you're far into the Arena. Check to make sure that you are not being pursued.

Once you are sure that you are alone, find a spot to rest for the night. Do not, I repeat, Do Not Start A Fire, especially not on the first night. There are too many potential killers out there to light one now.

While there's still a bit of light out, sort out your supplies while you still can. Create a game plan about what you're going to do. Be sure to include things you need to do.

Sleep in a tree or something, definitely don't sleep on the ground. I hope you're a light sleeper and an early riser, because if you're not you're pretty much screwed.

For the next few days, keep a low profile. Your first priorities should be finding water and food. Make a shelter near your water source, and always be on your toes. The first days of the Games are the most dangerous.

Okay, now that you've survived your first few days in the Arena, it's time to ask yourself one very important question;

Should I Form An Alliance Or Go Solo?


	7. Let The Games Begin: Should I Form an Alliance or Go Solo?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forming an alliance can be deadly and vital to winning the Games. Which will you choose?

Ah, the question that every tribute asks. I, of course, hate it when people ask me this, because to me the answer is pretty obvious.

OF COURSE NOT!

You never want to be in an alliance, especially not in the Hunger Games! Alliances are dangerous, cruel, and not to mention annoying.

Sure, alliances have their perks. You have more power with a group of people than you do by yourself. You're also "safer" with more people.

In this situation, the cons just outweigh the pros. There's a lot of bad baggage that comes with alliances, and that's just working with people in general. In the Hunger Games, it's ten times worse.

Sure you have more power in a group, but you're just going to have to kill them all later. This can be disastrous, especially if every single person in the alliance is stronger than you.

Also, alliances can allow you to become weak. This can mean mentally weak and physically weak. You can form bonds with your teammates, and in the end, the bond will cause more harm than good when you have to kill them.

Not to mention that people in alliances can be backstabbing traitors. They could kill you in your sleep while they're "guarding the campsite." They could also be working with the enemy to lure you into a trap to kill you.

Another con to add to this ever growing list is that alliances are extremely easy to find. The more people in your alliance, the easier you are to locate. Alliances are noisy, and they're not good at covering their tracks. You will be easily spotted in an alliance.

Finally, there's the fact that you might end up killing the people in your alliance because they're annoying. Let's face the facts here people, 99% of the human population is extremely annoying. Your alliance members could be so annoying that you literally want to kill them.

Basically, the theme of this chapter is don't make an alliance with anyone, no matter how tempting it is.

It probably won't matter now, but when you're lying in a pool of your own blood because your so called "teammate" literally stabbed you in the back, don't come crying to me. GOING SOLO IS THE BEST WAY TO WIN!

Now that we've got that settled, we'll move on to the final step of winning the Hunger Games;

How Do You Survive The Arena?


	8. Let The Games Begin: Surviving The Arena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Arena is arguably the most dangerous element of the Hunger Games. To survive, you must be smart, practical, and strong.

Hello again my little tribute! How's it going? Are you dealing with the murderous psychos you call tributes okay? Is the Arena giving you any trouble?

Alright, alright, I see that you don't want to talk today. What? You want me to hurry up with the introductions and get to the information?! No can do, genius takes time and effort.

*Screech* ALRIGHT, FINE, I'll do it, just pUT YoUR KNIfE DOwN.

Okay you psychopath, I'll get to the good part. You've probably heard me say this before, but I'm going to say it again; The Arena Is Your Biggest Enemy!

It doesn't matter if you have the strength and intelligence to survive the Games, if you can't survive in the Arena, you're dead meat.

The first thing you have to do to be able to survive the Arena is to know the land around you. Take the first chance you have to scout out the Arena. Take note of water sources, places where animals live, and places that you should avoid.

Once you know the land, make a shelter. The shelter should blend in with the terrain surrounding you. It should also be centered near a water source. Putting it near a plentiful hunting ground is a great option too.

You should also be on the lookout for any poisonous plants. They might come in handy if you need to poison anyone. You should also look for plants that have healing attributes. They could really help you out if you need a quick fix for an injury.

Another thing you should do to be able to survive the Arena is to have a backup (or a decoy) shelter in case your original one is destroyed. This can really help you get an edge over both your opponents and the Arena.

Be sure to take note of the Arena's weather/climate. If you know the weather, you can build your shelter to protect you from it. Looking at the climate can also help you predict what kind of natural disasters you should prepare for.

Look out for any dangerous objects that you could use to advantage. (Tracker Jacker nests, sharp sticks, etc.) These can give you an edge in the Hunger Games.

Use your resources to your advantage, especially the ones that came with the Arena. You could do anything, heck, you could even train a bunch of animals to protect you or something.

Resourcefulness is something that is admired and valuable. People from the Capital will give you their support if they see how clever and cunning you are. Not only do you have advantages, you have also moved one step up on the popularity chain.

Remember, if you follow my advice and scout the land, build shelters according to the Arena, and use your resources, you should pass the Games with flying colors. Don't forget anything else that I told you either, advice like mine is hard to get.

Now that you have all of my great advice, you're probably worrying about one thing;

What Am I Supposed To Do Now That I've Won?


	9. Congratulations!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations! You survived the Hunger Games!

Congratulations my dear tribute! You have just survived The Hunger Games!

You've managed to survive through thick and thin, and for that, I am proud. You also get a complimentary 'I Survived The Hunger Games and All I Got Was This Crappy T-shirt' shirt!

I'm not that proud though, because you've read my wonderful book of sarcastic humor and helpful hints.

Hopefully, you've escaped the Games with the least amount of pain possible. You can thank me for that later.

If you followed the directions in this book, you should still be the gem of the Capital. Good Luck with getting out of that.

My advice for the Victory Tour is to be yourself, but only a little bit. Don't be completely unsympathetic, but don't rebel so much that the Capital will end up killing your family.

Since your ordeal is over, (for now) I have nothing else to say besides have a nice life. I hope therapy works out for you!

Before you go, you must promise to never tell anyone about this book. This is a Tributes Only zone.

I also want you to promise that you will show your future students this story. It will probably help them a lot in the future.

Now leave. I have other tributes to train. Go spend time with your family. Heck, you could even start a rebellion while your at it, I don't care.

Have fun at Victor's Village.


End file.
